A realisation

Whilst mulling over my day I've realised something about myself that I felt I should write down somewhere to remind myself about. Here seemed a good place as should I forget some good soul may remind me in future.

I've realised that I am frequently rather apologetic about the quality of my work, in that I never feel I've done a good enough job, and the only person to blame is myself.

I can look at this - as is my want - in many ways. One is that I am constantly self deprecating and don't value myself. Another is that I am lazy and never actually do good work. Another is that I have high ideals for myself and never quite live up to them. And a positive spin on that is that it means I'm constantly striving to better myself, or at least what I do.

I've also realised that this probably makes me horribly difficult to work with at times, as I'm always questioning everything I do, and also everyone else's decisions that influence my work, but mostly from my perspective and with some little empathy sometimes. If you get this side of me sometimes; sorry.

Must try harder.

published 2009.11.30 updated 2017.06.26
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